Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize