how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize