I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
