How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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