Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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