the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize