you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
