I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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