Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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