we have officially lost it.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
