Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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