I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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