I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
