this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
