About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
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