I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
