It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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