In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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