Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We had sex on a dog bed..
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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