That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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