Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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