Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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