I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
