Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
