wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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