Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
