it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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