butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
