dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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