Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
