More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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