The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
