As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
BRING THE BAGELS
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
