Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It's shark week go big or go home
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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