If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize