Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
