her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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