i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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