Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
