Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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