I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
