I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize