I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
