He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
