Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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