just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize