I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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