Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize