I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
