Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I need to sanitize my soul.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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