Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
