Can Purell be used as lube?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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