You just made me feel so damn special
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
