I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
How does it feel to date your dad?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
