My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
