Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts

(678): View more from Georgia

too late i think im gettin a gcui

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(516): View more from New York

I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH

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(253): View more from Washington

Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."

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(541): View more from Oregon

I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.

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(616): View more from Michigan

I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked

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(514): View more from Quebec

Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for

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(516): View more from New York

Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....

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