I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
