"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
