what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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