So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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