I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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