I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
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No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
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I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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