i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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