I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
