i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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