don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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